yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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