Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
