bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
