But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
