Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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