This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
