Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
