would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
