we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
