someone get that fucking seahorse.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize
