Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
