everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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