i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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