I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
