No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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