I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
