Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
