i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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