Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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