I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
