I love black thongs
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
