But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
