shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
