Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
