It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
