talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
