Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
