your thong is hanging out like whoa
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
