You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
