Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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