wake up i wanna do it froggy style
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
