its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
