had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
