She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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