i don't plan on having that self control this summer
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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