i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i drank out of a bidet.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Randomize
