I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
