put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
he was CRYING into my vagina
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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