im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Randomize
