HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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