i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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