An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
