I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
