Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Send help, water and tortillas.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
