i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
