I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Randomize
