just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
