I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
