But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
