we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
